My grandma used to say, “Always make sure you get along with your neighbors.” And even if you don’t, always try to talk about it first. That’s what most people do, as 49% of Americans who have had a dispute with their neighbors say that they discussed the issue first. However, that strategy sometimes fails.
That was the case for this family, who had to get the landlord and the police involved to get their entitled neighbors to stop parking in their driveway. At a loss for what else to do, the homeowner asked netizens for advice on how to deal with difficult neighbors when the authorities aren’t willing to help.
The Redditor also kindly agreed to share her thoughts with We. r/Accomplished-Cod8263 detailed why she can’t file a complaint with the county court and whether the family is willing to keep fighting in the future. Read our conversation with her below!
RELATED:An entitled guy wouldn’t stop parking in his neighbors’ driveway
As he had to share his driveway with other neighbors, he felt this family should share theirs as well
A couple of days later, the woman posted an update
Three days into building the new fence, the woman believed she reached a tiny breakthrough with the neighboring family. She details how the mother asked her permission to take their trashcan down the driveway one last time before the fence is finished.
“I know [that’s] not a huge victory but it is the literal first time anyone from that family has asked anything or even been a little polite,” u/Accomplished-Cod8263 wrote. “I see it as a hopeful sign. Maybe this last act of grace will soothe some of their resentments so the war can end (if not, we are still on our toes).”
People started wondering if the wife was the voice of reason in the neighbor’s family and only the hot-headed husband and their son were the ones who wanted this whole beef. The Redditor mentions how the mom attempts to discipline the kids, but usually gives up after they don’t listen.
“Mom: ‘Do you want the neighbors to call the cops on us? Don’t throw rocks at their house,’” she details a supposed conversation. Kid: ‘We aren’t hurting anything,’ mom goes inside, kid doesnt skip a beat and continues to throw rocks.”
The mother also mentioned a possible reason why the neighbors’ kid was using their driveway to put the trashcan there. “Supposedly the upstairs neighbor kid is afraid of the downstairs neighbor dog ([can’t] imagine why seeing as he was throwing rocks at the poor thing) and [didn’t] want to cross the dogs path to put the trashcan out,” the Redditor wrote.
“It was news to me but she mentioned it when she asked my husband to let the boy do it one last time. Theoretically, they will now move their trash to their own driveway and not have to pass the dog at all. So still not our problem going forward.”
The woman tells We that she and her husband are considering moving out
Just like she wrote in one of the comments under her update, r/Accomplished-Cod8263 has no illusions that the fence will magically solve the issue. “I wish it would,” she tells We. “I expect that the children will likely escalate things by continuing to throw things over the fence and potentially vandalizing the fence itself. I am not really sure what the father of the family will do, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see escalation from him as well.”
Going to the police hasn’t been fruitful either. “The police have been polite and empathetic, but they are limited in what they can do,” she says. “From what I understand, the crime is essentially a misdemeanor, and even when provided pictures and video evidence, when they arrive, the children and adults have already left the property.”
The officers encouraged r/Accomplished-Cod8263 to post more notices, but couldn’t fine the family unless they personally saw the crime happening. “If I want to take it further, I have to file at the county court. But to file, I need to know the names of the adults in the house, and the cops were unable to provide me with the names.”
Some people in the comments suggested the woman go through the neighbors’ trash or mail to find out their names. But r/Accomplished-Cod8263 doesn’t think this would be appropriate. “Feels like it would be extremely creepy on my part and cause further escalation,” she tells We. “We are limited in legal options, and the cops’ hands are tied.”
At the moment, the family isn’t sure they’re going to stay and live there. “If it were just my husband and I, we would stay and fight. But that [knee-jerk] reaction changes entirely when you have children,” the Redditor says honestly.
“I have a 2-year-old and an infant on the way. From what I can tell from Google Maps, this family has lived here for several years already, and the housing and renting market is only getting steeper – they could stay here for a long time.”
“I don’t want my girls to get bitten up by bugs from their trash, or hit by a wayward rock from a kid being encouraged by an entitled father,” the woman says, detailing her worries. “I don’t want their earliest experiences with other children to be kids bullying them over this conflict.”
The young family has other reasons to move as well. “Initially, we imagined trying to stay in Virginia permanently, which has a much higher likelihood than any other base, but I think I’d like to try to utilize the resources available for young families and find a sense of community by moving on base instead.”
“One of the reasons we picked this neighborhood in particular is because when we drove through in the evenings, we would see families (not our neighbors) out on their porches, listening to music, talking, laughing, and watching their kids play.”
“It really seemed idyllic, and I had hoped to become a part of that. But at one point, the neighbor’s kids were recruiting other kids in the neighborhood to throw rocks as well. I have no idea what the rest of the parents around here think of us, but with the way the kids are, I feel like Boo Radley,” r/Accomplished-Cod8263 says.
In some cases, homeowners sign an easement agreement, letting neighbors access their driveway
Shared driveways do exist, but in this story, the OP’s family has their own driveway. Usually, when two neighbors are sharing a driveway, they sign an easement, an agreement between the two parties that allows them to use the driveway to access their properties. So, in this story, what the neighbors are doing is trespassing, because there’s no driveway easement between the OP’s family and the neighbors.
With an easement, according to estate planning and business attorney’s at Cutler and Riley, “the entire driveway is owned by one neighbor but the other neighbor has an easement over the driveway (a right to use the driveway).”
Still, the owners of the driveway can prohibit their neighbors from accessing it. It’s still their property, and if the neighbor is blocking the owner’s access to their home, they can be held accountable. In this case, the neighbor can’t interfere with reasonable use of the driveway.
If the neighbors really need to use that driveway and aren’t just being jerks about it out of entitlement, they could ask the OP for an easement. Yet it doesn’t seem they’d do that; the father and son seem to be more inclined towards vandalism and delinquency.
In the end, the family decided to put up a fence to hopefully stop the neighbors’ trashy behavior
People’s reactions were mixed: some sympathized with the family, others called them ‘doormats’ for letting the situation to get this bad
