Ah, vacations. The sun is shining, the wine is flowing, and someone is bound to ruin dinner with an unsolicited opinion. We’ve all been there, burning in the kitchen, spatula in one hand, fighting for your seasoning rights with someone who believes they’re the final authority on sodium.
Sometimes it’s your mom, and sometimes it’s an aunt. However, in the case of today’s Original Poster (OP), it was her own boyfriend. What began as a simple request for a few seasonings spiraled into a passive-aggressive argument about culinary boundaries, sodium content, and even power dynamics.
More info: Reddit
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The author was on vacation with her boyfriend’s family, and she volunteered to cook for most nights
One night, she was cooking outside and needed some ingredients including salt, but her boyfriend got everything except it
When she asked why he didn’t bring it, he insisted that the food didn’t need salt, so she proceeded to serve it as it was
His family mentioned the food needed some salt when they tasted it, but he didn’t change his stance that the food didn’t need it
The OP generously took the reins in the kitchen during a vacation with her boyfriend’s family. So one night, while making a quick dish on a griddle outside, she asked her boyfriend for a few seasonings: MSG (monosodium glutamate), soy sauce, pepper, and salt. However, he brought back everything but the salt because he decided the dish didn’t need it.
He even justified it by claiming that since MSG was included, salt was redundant. Because the dish came together quickly and she couldn’t step away without risking a burn, she had no choice but to serve it like that. Everyone immediately noticed the lack of flavor, and salted their own portions.
Her boyfriend, however, doubled down on his no salt stance, insisting that you can always add salt, but you can’t take it out once it’s there. The OP was understandably upset, not because the food was bland, but because this wasn’t the first time he’d disregarded her seasoning judgment.
Despite loving her food and benefiting from her cooking 90% of the time, he continued to override her choices in the kitchen. What really sparked the blow-up was what it symbolized. She felt like his behavior was controlling by ignoring her instructions and substituting his judgment for hers. When she confronted him, he threw it back at her, saying she could have gotten the salt herself.
To better understand the nuances behind the couple’s kitchen clash, We reached out to chef and food blogger Abisola Da-Silva, who shed light on both the culinary and relational layers at play in the situation.
“MSG can be a helpful ingredient in cooking, especially when you’re trying to cut back on sodium, but it’s not a replacement for salt,” she explained, pointing out that while MSG brings taste, it lacks the sharp, briny punch salt provides.
Based on the story, Da-Silva emphasized again that MSG works best as a flavor enhancer alongside salt, not instead of it. “You’re not really solving the problem if you skip salt and pour on more soy sauce.”
However, beyond taste, she noted that food preparation in relationships touches on far more than just seasoning. “What might seem like a small disagreement over salt is often tied to deeper values, I believe. For a person who loves cooking, food can become emotional. It can be about health, culture, or comfort,” she shared.
We then asked how partners can communicate their preferences when it comes to seasoning or taste preferences, to which Da-Silvasuggested early and honest conversations, taking turns with meal decisions, and seasoning portions separately when possible. “It’s all about mutual respect and compromise.”
Da-Silva was clear about one partner never being the sole voice in how meals are prepared, stating, “Dictating how food should be made, unless there’s a real medical reason, usually isn’t appropriate.” She emphasized that shared meals should reflect shared decisions. “A relationship and a recipe both thrive with give and take. If you’re just calling the shots, then it can’t be called a partnership.”
Netizens were quick to support the OP, deeming her boyfriend’s actions controlling and inconsiderate. They felt that his refusal to follow a simple request undermined her autonomy in the kitchen. They also noted how his behavior came across as ungrateful, especially given that she was cooking for his family.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think it’s reasonable for someone to override their partner’s choices when cooking, or is it a red flag for controlling behavior? We would love to hear your thoughts!
The author was deeply upset as she felt like her boyfriend was somewhat controlling, and netizens agreed that he was undermining her in the kitchen
