Breakups suck. Especially when someone disappears without a trace. But you know what can equally disturb you? Them coming back.
A woman who goes on Reddit by the nickname Lrhun just submitted a story to the platform’s community ‘Entitled People‘ that illustrates just how demanding these situations can be.
After she and her best friend bought a house together, her bestie’s ex suddenly ended the three-year-old radio silence and contacted her, saying they were somehow still together and making claims on the property.
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One thirty-year-old has just been contacted by her ex who she hasn’t heard from in years
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
And the guy is obsessed with the idea that they’re still a couple
Image credits: Aliaksei Lepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: KoolShooters (not the actual photo)
After the story went viral, its author released an update on the situation
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lrhun
Even if neither of them is a bona fide “nutcase,” exes getting back together often isn’t a good idea
“People often return to their previous romantic partners,” says social psychologist and professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland, Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D.
“They might get back together after a few months of separation, but other times, partners move on and live completely separate lives for years before finding a way back to each other.”
In fact, according to some estimates, as much as 40-50 percent of people have reunited with an ex to start a new relationship.
(Former) couples give themselves another chance for a variety of reasons, but the main one is lingering feelings. “Love, it seems, doesn’t stop when a breakup happens, and it can spur people to get back together,” DiDonato explains.
Other causes usually are:
Familiarity;Companionship;Insight;The ex is still better than other partners;Regret;For the ex’s sake.
However, even if neither of them is a well-established “nutcase,” their future looks hazy, to say the least.
“Concerns about reuniting with an ex-partner have some basis in research,” DiDonato adds. “Evidence suggests that on-again relationships are qualitatively different from only-on relationships.”
Compared to relationships that have never experienced a breakup, on-again partners tend to report:
lower satisfaction;less felt validation;less love;lower sexual satisfaction;less need fulfillment.
People have had plenty of different reactions to this whole ordeal
